4 BratZz

Offer!

I am now a full-fledged demolition optician.
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4BratZz, no doubt, is a permanent inscription in my mind. I can never forget you people. The fun we share and stuff. Now, as a full-fledged demolition optician, I shall give you people some tips on care of your eyes. F.O.C.! I am the bestest friend all of you can get.

F.Y.I., demolition optics is a new course. I am one of the pioneers who pursued this course, so I am very proud of it. That goes without saying I am one of the best demolition opticians ever. It is extremely easy to apply on your daily lives, especially for workaholics. I guarantee 100% D.I.Y.. Well, you guessed it, demolition, wrecking with explosives. My collection will kick off with a starter.

Starters Tip (Works well for blinds)
1. Buy a box of sparklers, usually comes with sticks of 6.
2. Stab one into eyeball.
3. Light sparkler.
4. Enjoy.
Enjoy the instant of gratification. Look into the mirror if you have only lighted one sparkler.

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Still not convinced? Demolotion in the eye is easy as ABC. Here are some more tips...
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Tip No. 1 (For people who are vain)
1. Fill kerosene in a bucket.
2. Dip face a few times into kerosene.
3. Light face with a lighter.
Works better when lemon juice is applied after the treatment.

Tip No. 2 (For liquor connoiseurs)
1. Pour amaretto and tequila into a shaker.
2. Shake well then strain into a cocktail glass.
3. Put in own eyeball.
4. Light liquor.
Put in a teaspoon of baker's yeast into drink for intense flavours.

Tip No. 3 (For gastronomical adventurers.)
1. Pound magnesium clorate and chilli in a mortar with a pestle.
2. Dilute mixture with water.
3. Pour into eyes.
4. Gouge treated eyeball.
5. Enjoy.
Treat eyeballs with fire and make sure there is scintillation before serving.
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Testimonials:

'Facial in a snap!'
Vogue magazine

'Magic really does all the work this time.'
Frankie Faceo, author of 'No pain, no vain'

'This bomb will beat Bordeaux products.'
The Wine Times

'For once, eyeballs are stars!'
Phenom Hme Kit, Dean of Institute of Optical Technology (Vietnam)

'I'm sick of all kinds of food after eating those eyeballs'
Abu Kashir Amida, Pakistani food guru
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See? Is it really that hard? No! I have many more tips to share. For treatment, visit me in my clinic.

Vision-enable & Co.
12 Banglah Road
Singapore @$%@$#
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Disclaimer:
The content above is solely for entertainment purposes ONLY. Any characters or products exist in reality is purely conincidental.

posted by Mr. Whoopee @ 1:31 AM